Dear Grandma,
I used to write you letters. Every week I would write.
You'd return them with haste then at 14 years old you were out of sight.
I remember the day, the evening, the time,
when my father told us after family prayer that cancer would eventually overtake your life.
"It's not fair" I said, "I don't want you to go"
You hugged me one last time and said, "Oh how I love you so..."
I remember your laugh, time spent, smiles given.
It was the first time I ever really knew someone from earth was now in heaven.
I remember your funeral, I remember it well.
I played my flute there for you, you were there I could tell.
It was the first time I could play the whole thing.
Yes, not one note or rhythm out of beat.
All the times practicing and yet no way through,
Yet playing it for you, I played it right through.
It was your favorite Primary Children's Song Heavenly Father Loves Me.
I'm so grateful I could play it for you, I played it for you and for me.
To the cemetery we did follow,
My dad held my hand as we walked with tears of sorrow.
At the end of the service we took a rose, and for a moment held you close.
Said goodbye, an knew, that someday we'd see you again soon.
Years later I come to visit, Memorial weekend has it in it.
To visit those once loved, who now look down from up above.
Who've thought that, that summer I'd meet a boy,
who'd 5 years later would become my spouse forever?
Yes, he's good to me Grandma. And yes, he loves me so....
We even have a little boy now and his name is James Daniel.
It's been a good 3 years since I've been able to come to your grave last.
So the memory of where you lay is forgotten and long past.
However as soon as I saw the hospital and the road that turns left,
I knew exactly the place, I knew exactly where at.
I drove right to the location,
Walked exactly to where you were.
Didn't even need look down until I knew it was your turn.
Astonished we had found you with no direction given
I introduced you to my spouse, my son and sat there for a minute.
Suddenly everything was silent except birds in the air.
Everything was quiet and peaceful when a tear had fallen there...
Another followed shortly, as all tears usually do...
I had then realized....just how much I've missed you.
I knew you could see me right then and right there.
That feeling I've felt before was around me I swear.
It's that same feeling I've felt when needing you most
And feeling you around me, almost there I suppose.
Just like you were almost there on my wedding day
in the backseat of that room.
Or walking home from EFY, in the moonlight I could hear you.
Singing that song that I played so long ago for you.
Oh Grandma, it's true.
Grandma, if there's one thing I'd like to say, one thing at that.
Thank you for the love you've shared,
The love you brought about.
I'm grateful that I can report to you and say that I am doing well.
That life is good, my family is safe. I can feel you're smiling down on me now.
Tears flow, more frequently like water,
Saying goodbye to you is hard, but I understand we're friends forever.
Love, Alicia May
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